Nov.9th, 2007
By Priscilla Van Sutphin

I remember when I wanted to confront my mother on the things that were so painful for me, her abandonment of me as a newborn, which I didn't even know about till my aunt clued me in after my divorce some 30 years ago, & all the back & forth between her & foster homes.   I remember trying to just talk to my mom about the things I FELT.  She refused to apologize for anything.  It was just too much for her to admit she had not been a supportive mom.

In Steve Sampson's book " I Was Always on My Mind" he speaks in Chapter 3 of Jezebel being the Ultimate of Flesh in Control.  He says:

"There is no place that the flesh rules more ruthlessly than through the jezebel personality.  The commonly used term Jezebel, was in actuality the name of the wicked Queen Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, in the Old Testament.  She was the daughter of a Sidonian king who made a trade agreement with Israel's King Ahab.   Part of the agreement included Jezebel, the daughter.  Because of the control  she exercised and the tactics she used to exert illegitimate & wicked control over people, her name has become synonymous with the spirit of control.

Jezebel is a product of the flesh that opens the door to an evil spirit.  Paul called witchcraft a work of the flesh ( Galatians 5:20).  It is behavior that operates through a person to control by the use of manipulative, domineering & intimidating tactics.  Although not restricted to either sex, it often is acknowledged to be more prevalent in women; but there is no question that it functions just as proficiently through men. It is flesh on the throne of the heart. The perfect narcissist.

Where it functions through women, the Jezebel spirit seems to serve as Satan's answer to a male-dominated world, to give a false protection in a world where a woman seemingly never gets her rights, & the protective LOVE of a FATHER & a husband.  Out of the lack of love, she rebels against the whole unloving system, & becomes just like it because of modeling & her judgments, and unforgiveness.  The controlled becomes the controller; the oppressed becomes the oppressor.
Whether male or female, controllers are almost always motivated out of INSECURITY."

He makes many other good points, and I highly recommend his book which you can get at

This never apologizing is related to lack of REPENTANCE noted in Revelation.
Rev 2:20-23 NKJV
 20 Nevertheless I have a few things against you, because you allow that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.  21 And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent.  22 Indeed I will cast her into a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of their deeds.  23 I will kill her children with death, and all the churches shall know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts. And I will give to each one of you according to your works.  

Jezebel never repented in the Old Testament either, & in the end was thrown out the window, died & was eaten by dogs as the prophet predicted.

The lack of repentance is a function of PRIDE.
There was a woman I used to know slightly who used to come to prayer meetings at the church I attended. She walked with an air of superiority always about her. I had no idea what I had done to offend her but for some reason she had it out for me during a time I had taken in a young man & his wife (who needed deliverance from Satanism in her family).  

I was not allowed by apt. standards to have them there, & when they stayed beyond what I felt was right, they had to leave, & went back east, ended up being youth leaders in a church in New York.  But somehow through this inter-relationship with this couple, perhaps they complained to her, I don't know, but she just had an arrogance towards me, as though I was the lowest of the low which I certainly am, but she surely disdained me.  

One Sunday I was driving to church, & she was right behind me.  I instantly got apprehensive.  It was raining, & as I put on the brake at the bottom of the hill, I could not stop!  I went through the stoplight, thankfully missing getting into a wreck, & very frightening to not be able to stop when putting on the brakes. Later I realized it was that spirit on her, that was likely the culprit. 

As I got to church, & started to take my seat, she looked back at me with disdain, & did this hand posturing thing of swiping her hands as if brushing something off her shoulders. The look from her was as if looks could kill.  I could not believe her arrogance & hatred.  I tried to forgive her for all this, but in my heart, she intimidated me.

Much later, just last year one time I attended another church, & who was there but this woman.  When I saw her, I felt God was urging me to go repent to her of anything she thought I may have done to hurt her.  I did that in front of Kathy, the pastoress, as I wanted to her to be witness to it.  I told her " I'm sorry for anything I did to you that hurt you. Will you forgive me?"  She refused. She bluntly said "NO"!  I still felt even after years, a bit shaky from the encounter with her, & went back to my seat.  But in this way, it was also revealed to Kathy what had hold of her.
And just as I went back to my seat, another witness to it, came over to assure me I did the right thing, & to just let go in my heart.  Which I felt I could do now completely.  It was really sad. Why sad ? Because if you don't repent of your unforgiveness, you are holding on to bitterness, & bitterness will keep you out of heaven.  This is why the bible cautions us…

Prov 5:3-5 NKJV  For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil; 4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell.   

Prov 22:24-25 NKJV  Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go , 25 Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.
Prov 22:24-25  THE MESSAGE
Don't hang out with angry people; don't keep company with hotheads. 25 Bad temper is contagious - don't get infected. 

Job 21:25-26 NKJV Another man dies in the bitterness of his soul, Never having eaten with pleasure. 26 They lie down alike in the dust, And worms cover them. 

And in the New Testament:

Rom 3:14-18 NKJV
14 "Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness ."   15 "Their feet are swift to shed blood; 16 Destruction and misery are in their ways; 17 And the way of peace they have not known."   18 "There is no fear of God before their eyes."   

Heb 12:15-17 NKJV… looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; 16 lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. 17 For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears. 

Bitterness defiles everyone.  A bitter jezebelic person will slime everyone in the body & without. They will ruminate on old wounds, having never forgiven or resolved things in their hearts, never repenting of their part in it.  And they will rehash things over & over how they have been wounded even to the same person over & over, condemning, & gossiping about those who hurt them.  It is one thing to talk to those who can help you get free.  It is another to be carrying a huge load of bitter root judgments, & unforgiveness. This stands out like a sore thumb around those who are more healed. REFUSAL to repent or forgive is something Jesus had plenty to say about in His words also:

Matt 6:14-15 NKJV
14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.  

Jesus makes it clear here, that if you do not forgive that you will not be forgiven by the Father when you stand before Him.  Bitterness brings torment of soul. It is a robber and a thief.  It will keep you from advancing in your walk with the Lord or in any area of your life prospering His way.  You may prosper from the hand of the devil, but not from God.

Matt 18:34-35 NKJV
34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  35 "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."  

Along with the idea of forgiveness, there is the apology…a repentant heart will be quick to forgive and quick to apologize for any PERCEIVED WRONG.

Matt 5:23-26 TLB
23 "So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and suddenly remember that a friend has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there beside the altar and go and apologize and be reconciled to him, and then come and offer your sacrifice to God. 25 Come to terms quickly with your enemy before it is too late and he drags you into court and you are thrown into a debtor's cell, 26 for you will stay there until you have paid the last penny. 

There are times even when you try to apologize, or humble yourself, taking on an apology for something you really didn't do to hurt anyone, that no matter how you try that you cannot make peace with some people. But at least if you do your part, you are no longer held in bondage or obligation in the eyes of the Lord.  You will be free.

When I was a child there was much pain, much abuse.  Growing up with that kind of family, even in the foster home also, there was a jezebelic spirit that no one seemed to ever apologize for wrongs done.  My mother was most definitely a good example of jezebel in action.  And because I judged her, I became like what I judged.  But I was willing to repent. I was willing to apologize for wrongs done, once the Lord got a hold of me.  There was a strong fear of the LORD build into me as a child through some of my Catholic background.

The Word says that the FEAR OF THE LORD is the beginning of wisdom.
Job 28:28 NKJV And to man He said, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord , that is wisdom, & to depart from evil is understanding.'" 
Prov 9:10 NIV "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, & knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 

It is usually our fears of punishment, fear of rejection & PRIDE that keep us from apologies.  Fear & PRIDE are the things that undergird CONTROL/ Jezebel.  It is so simple to say I'm sorry. I know that in most alcoholic homes, that I'm sorry never comes. In an alcoholic family, there is way too much insanity & pride to ever hear an I'm sorry. 

Manipulation is strong in those abused by jezebelic spirits, because they had to manipulate to survive sometimes. But manipulation becomes then ingrained due to fear, & becomes used with self pity to control others, to push others to do things that you want or in your timing.

My ex grew up in such a home, & so there was no example ever set for that apologizing either. This causes so much harm to children who grow up thinking THEY are the cause of all the problems, just because adults they live with don't know how to be adults & apologize.

If you didn't learn from your parents, then you can learn from others in the church who did grow up in healthier families, & learn to say I'm sorry, or I apologize for what I did.  It goes a long way in the heart of a child, to be able to forgive their parents for pains caused, sharp words, or perfectionism, if we will just say, I'm sorry & repent to them for those things.  

None of us is perfect like God, so we have made mistakes along the way. God needn't apologize as He is perfect in all His ways.  But since we are NOT GOD, it's a good plan, even if there is a perceived wrong, that you really didn't feel you did, to apologize.  The meek inherit the earth !

Attributes of the Flesh From Steve's book:
1. legalism
2.  a bad disposition
3. self-centeredness
4.  lack of discipline
5. boasting
6. stubbornness
7. idolatry and covetousness
8.  impulsiveness
9. passivity

Things about Jezebel:
1. She is religious
2. she is intimidating
3. She uses illegitimate authority 
4. He gets what HE wants
5. He is manipulative
6. He gets others to do his dirty work
7. She surrounds herself with eunuchs
8. She emasculates men or if male degrades women
9. She is relentless, furiously determined
10. He or She destroys the prophetic - actually she moves in divination {python spirit} which will try to strangulate the true prophetic in others.
11. Makes excuses for sin including all sexual sins/perversion
12.   She is jealous  
13. He always knows better than you, what is good for you
14.   She is MURDEROUS - often will feel like I'm having a heart attack when attacked by this spirit - comes from murderous spirit
15. She is a thief - if you give to her, you will live in poverty and lack

Her characteristics are in our FLESH and it is what God purposes to remove through sanctification throughout our walk with Him.

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