Overcoming Self Pity
Priscilla Van Sutphin
May 4, 2009
Self pity, a friend once said, is the enemy of the warrior. Today the Lord was showing me the relationships between discontentment, complaining and self pity – that is, how they are interwoven. Demons usually come in groups, not just one at a time, and the one who gains entrance, helps the others to come in.
Discontentment is something the Lord showed me is paired also with perfectionism. The perfectionist is never satisfied with themselves or others. That leads to complaining, and woe-is-me self pity. The root of discontentment is pride. Then when self pity speaks, it can lead to defeatism coming in, which then leads to the downward spiral of depression, and feeling worthless and despairing. Feeling worthless and despairing can also then lead to all sorts of bondages – alcohol, sex, drugs, overeating, anorexia because of feelings of being worthless.
These are not the only interactions , it was just that He wanted to show me some of the workings of these so we will catch our thoughts and take them captive before they run us down and get us agreeing with the spirit of heaviness.
Why do we feel self pity ? A person who is abused, or rejected, often feels self pity and that often then leads to unforgiveness, anger and hatred, resentment, rebellion of all sorts, even a murderous and bitter heart.
“Woe is me, I can never get anywhere” the demon whines and complains into our thoughts. “I always get the bad end of the stick”, “No one appreciates me”. You can see then how resentment sets in; “ No one ever listens to me”
“ No one appreciates all I do” - whines resentment.
And then when we don’t take these thoughts captive we wonder why we’re down and feeling depressed. Hallelujah, there is a solution. THROW out those thoughts. TAKE THEM CAPTIVE by renouncing resentment, renouncing self pity, renouncing pride and discontentment, anger, and rejection. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL HOW THE ENEMY TEMPTS YOU TO FEEL !
Instead say, “ I AM A SON OR DAUGHTER OF GOD !” I lack no good thing. I am dark but lovely in His sight. I AM His favorite. He is My Beloved, and I am HIS ! I am the apple of His eye….even when I make a mistake, even when others don’t appreciate me, I AM LOVED ! I will NOT be depressed ! I will not be self piteous ! I will not resent others. I will forgive________ !
God is Sovereign of the UNIVERSE. He is My Lord and MASTER, MY ADONAI and I will be content in all things, whether I am abased or abound !
I will worship HIM, no matter what the circumstance. I am in LOVE with the KING, and HE loves me !
There is the old saying “ misery loves company” and we do need to sound off and get out our emotions to someone sometimes. It’s a good idea to get them out to God as soon as we can, or if we call someone else to get out our feelings and receive counsel, to then PRAY and renounce all the bad feelings.
Job 19:21 KJV Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me.
Job had good reason to be sad. He lost his children in one fell swoop, along with herds and then was attacked in his physical body to the point of despair. When you go through such loss it is natural to grieve and go through stages of acceptance of what has happened. But it’s important not to stay in the rut of self pity for years on end. It only robs and steals from us our joy.
Psalms 69:20-21 KJV Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none. 21 They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
These are the words of Jesus that David spoke prophetically of what He would FEEL on the cross. So God knows what we feel. We have a high priest who also suffered and knows what it is to despair, and feel alone. So often when we are full of self pity, we think we alone are suffering, when actually that is just the ploy of Satan to make us feel singled out, and angry at God for allowing the lack or pain or discomfort, whatever it is. Jesus alone did suffer unlike anyone else. But we have not succombed to the cross as He has.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NKJV Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.
We are never alone, even if we feel alone physically. We are never without the Lord’s presence to comfort us in our suffering and sorrows. He is always there, always available to listen. He is the Father to the fatherless, and those broken in heart.
Isaiah 63:9-10 In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them: in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; and he bare them, and carried them all the days of old.
Isaiah says, HE speaking of the LORD, was afflicted in all their affliction.
It helps us to know that Jesus feels our pain. He feels our grief and sorrow and weeps with us. Did He not admonish us to do the same ? - to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep ? He did that because that is HIS nature.
Joel 2:17-18 KJV Let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep between the porch and the altar, and let them say, Spare thy people, O Lord, and give not thine heritage to reproach, that the heathen should rule over them: wherefore should they say among the people, Where is their God?
18 Then will the Lord be jealous for his land, and pity his people.
Here we see the Lord admonishing that in harsh and difficult circumstances to weep, to cry, to travail and cry out to the LORD in our pain. He is not telling us to never have feelings, but to take them to HIM. It’s ok to be angry, God knows you are anyhow, but just take it to HIM. Get it out, and you’ll feel a whole lot better taking it to Him Who has huge shoulders, and can bear with us, the pain. And who will send his messengers to do His bidding, and answer our prayers and tears. And then you will also be able to receive His instruction on how to confront those you are angry with.
Zechariah 11:5-6 KJV Whose possessors slay them, and hold themselves not guilty: and they that sell them say, Blessed be the Lord; for I am rich: and their own shepherds pity them not. 6 For I will no more pity the inhabitants of the land, saith the Lord: but, lo, I will deliver the men every one into his neighbour's hand, and into the hand of his king: and they shall smite the land, and out of their hand I will not deliver them.
The Lord will take vengeance for us, like a good father protects his family, HE will fight FOR us, and deliver us from the wicked and harsh taskmasters.
Jesus escaped many times in the crowds that wanted to hurt Him.
To the Lord belong escapes from death it says. And if He does not, then it is our time to suffer with Him and to go see HIM. How bad can that be ? - to be in heaven with Him is glorious. So think of the worst cast scenario, and realize that we are just strangers here, and cling to the LORD, in all that you have to go through. But know the enemy cannot take you before your time. So you can walk in CONFIDENCE that God is at your side no matter what. YOU are the apple of His eye, just like we dote over our children, so He dotes over you.
Self pity will keep us in bondage and complaining. Self pity robs us of good things because then all we EXPECT is bad things, so the enemy will be happy to oblige our low expectations. Having good expectations aligns us with FAITH. And without FAITH it is impossible to please God it says. So if we keep giving in to complaint and woe is me, then we stay SELF centered, and selfishly hold on to UNBELIEF that God will come through for us, and we will get what we expect often-times.
Self pity can rob us in another area. If we are so busy feeling sorry for ourselves and resentful, then how will we help others ? How will we be a comfort to those who need it ? We become blind to others needs when we are too focused on ourselves. And if we treat others badly because we FEEL badly, that is human and can be forgiven, as we all blow it daily in some way, but we cannot STAY in that place of me, myself and I.
Matthew 18:33-34 KJV Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee? 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
If we get so hard hearted and self centered, that we have no pity for others, and cut off relationship , and just care for ourselves and not others, then we are turned over to torment. We continue then to strive with God and not forgive Him, or others for whatever perceived slight…and that leads to only more torment. Then the enemy is happy as can be that he has separated us from God.
He is like a wolf with a pack following him, that separates the week lamb from the flock so that he can devour it. So we cannot afford to give in one iota to the enemy’s schemes. But also know that if you blow it and have your pity party, it’s ok. God understands. But He expects you to get over it, and grow up and let go of all unforgiveness and anger. He will help you through it and give you the grace to do so if you ask.
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 NKJV For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.
Prayer
Father, I ask YOU to forgive me for giving in to self pity. I renounce self pity, and rebuke the spirit of self pity in the name and the blood of Jesus. Father show me when I give in to thoughts it puts in my head, that I may not give in. Help me to take every thought captive to the Lord Jesus Christ. Help me to stop resenting anything from my past and pull out any root of self pity that I can walk in wholeness and liberty with You. In the name and the blood of Jesus, I say that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me, and I know that You love me Lord, and thank you so much for Your patience with me. Help me to also forgive anything that anyone has done to hurt me.
Help me to be quick to forgive, quick to listen and slow to speak. Give me Your wisdom that I could see through the strategies of the enemy Father,
in the name and the blood of Jesus. AMEN !
