Speaking Things That Are Not As Though They Were !:
To Women Who’ve Been Hurt by Men.
Priscilla Van Sutphin
June 22, 2004

Heb 11:1 NKJV  Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Heb 11:1-2 Amplified
1   NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [ faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses ].  2   For by [faith--trust and holy fervor born of faith] the men of old had divine testimony borne to them and obtained a good report.

Phil 3:9 AMP    And that I may [ actually ] be found and known as in Him, not having any [ self-achieved ] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands ( ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [ genuine righteousness ] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed one), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.

Helper – [from Genesis name for woman – I will give you a helpmate]
OT:5828 `ezer (ay'-zer); from OT:5826; aid:  KJV - help.
OT:5826  `azar (aw-zar'); a primitive root; to surround, i.e. protect or aid:
KJV - help, succour.

Speaking in FAITH is sometimes misunderstood as lying.  But I know that the Lord has shown me to speak in faith over my son regardless of what behavior is manifesting.  I went through divorce from his stepfather when he was 12.  This was my first real marriage.  And when my son went to high school finally, ( was home schooled before then)  there was a lot of anger surfacing.  And when I went to Toronto in 1996, they had warned me that my son was going to take a path that would break my heart and to not get caught up by the sorrow and grief as it would draw MORE warfare to myself.

Now this is a hard one for any mother, especially of an only son.  I had lost my two stepsons in the divorce.  And here is my son getting involved with smoking, and marijuana through “friends”.  He would lash out at me with cussing and around that time, I also read a book by Merlin Carothers called “ Bringing Heaven into Hell” which I would highly recommend. You can get it through Amazon or on his site.  I learned that no matter what was going wrong [ or at least I was trying to learn it]  I needed to praise Him.

This was also reinforced by a book by Basilea Shlenk on overcoming.  So as he would get angry….I would walk in my bedroom, tears running down my face, and speak in obedience [ not even in sincerity at first]  “Thank You Lord that he is swearing and angry at me !”  “ Thank You Lord that he is treating me like a jerk . Thank You Lord that he is rebellious !…. Thank YOU Lord that he is saved and healed .  Thank You Lord that the call on his life is one of an apostle and that he walks in the light as You are in the light…” etc.

By the time I was done speaking those outloud, I was more calm and laid down on the bed and within a half hour, he’d come in and say, “ I’m sorry mom, I don’t know why I acted like such an ___.”  We’d hug and kiss and make up.  He was going through a lot of pain at the time physically and mentally.  So I knew when he spoke those things, it was not him, it was what had hold of him.  We war NOT against flesh and blood, but power and principalities and spiritual wickedness in high places.

I made out 4 X 6 index cards with scriptures on them and began to speak them over him as often as I could and personalize the scrips to him in prayer.  One day when I did that I heard a demon voice tell me…” That won’t do you any good ! “  So then I knew it WAS doing some good !  They are kind of stupid you know !  And they are prideful so just have to reveal themselves. I KNOW that God KEEPS telling me to speak the apostolic call over his life and the TRUTH of the Word, and HE will perform it.  Just recently the Lord told me that my former partying son is about to have a “HALLELUJAH PARTY “ !   Praise the LORD !  So I am EXPECTANT.

No matter what you go through, one KEY of DAVID is to PRAISE HIM IN  ALL THINGS as David did.  Dance, sing, exalt His name, regardless of what I going on around you.   There is some revelation on this in Ezekial 47 as well.
You can read that one at:  http://www.upstreamca.com/ezekial47.html

Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things “hoped for”, the evidence of things yet unseen.  
Everytime I used to get focused on what was wrong with my ex-husband, things would go awry.  Nothing would go right - there would be more strife and more fights, etc.  But when I would look at what was wrong with ME, and ask for humility and a right attitude of heart, a change of heart for myself, THEN things went really well.  Our focus has to remain fixed on HIM and  our own sanctification.  It doesn’t help anyone to berate them for all they do wrong.  A husband who is going through a rough time needs encouragement as much as a woman going through a hard time who is unhealed.

The Lord told us that for unbelievers, they will be won over by a quiet and GENTLE spirit.  And truth be known, if we will PROPHESY into their lives the things HOPED FOR !    In first Samuel is an interesting scripture:

1 Sam 18:10-11 NIV   The next day an evil spirit from God came forcefully upon Saul. He was prophesying in his house, while David was playing the harp, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand 11 and he hurled it, saying to himself, "I'll pin David to the wall." But David eluded him twice.

1 Sam 18:10-11 NKJV   And it happened on the next day that the distressing spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied inside the house. So David played music with his hand, as at other times; but there was a spear in Saul's hand. 11 And Saul cast the spear, for he said, "I will pin David to the wall!" But David escaped his presence twice.

1 Sam 18:10 AMP  The next day an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved [madly] in his house, while David played [the lyre] with his hand, as at other times; and there was a javelin in Saul's hand.

1 Sam 18:10 NLT  The very next day, in fact, a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave like a madman. David began to play the harp, as he did whenever this happened. But Saul, who had a spear in his hand,

So whatever words come out of our mouth are PROPHECY.  Will we speak LIFE or DEATH.  The Lord says that life and death are in the power of the tongue.  He wants us to speak LIFE to those we have been called to love.

It doesn’t mean we can never correct. But when we correct we have an obligation not to CONDEMN, but to encourage towards life.  We can’t control the other person’s reactions, but we can control ours.  We must say what GOD is saying, like Jesus did.  And in order to do that, we have to SEE as HE SEES.  If He says to speak death, we better know it is coming from HIM, and not our flesh.  Our flesh will fool us every chance it gets.  And the enemy will also try to throw in divination through trying to control others when he can. 
That spirit of divination comes with religious pharisaism faster than a speeding bullet !   If we have too much desire for prominence, or if we are competitive, that spirit of divination will enter in a most sneaky way, trying to make itself sound just like the Most Holy Spirit.  We can be convinced also by our fleshly desires that war within us.  So speaking the WORD is a SAFE thing to do if it is done in love, and not like a sword to kill.

A slave has no rights.  We are slaves of the Most High.  We must do things by HIS dictates, not the dictates of our own flesh and pride. We don’t do what pride dictates.  Pride is defensive and know it all, and demands what IT wants.  If we don’t learn our lessons the first time, we will go round and round the desert like the Israelites did in Moses’ time till we GET IT !

We speak the the TRUTH of His Word to the mountains and the Word says that if we have faith even as tiny as a mustard seed, that if we say to that mountain MOVE, it will move !  So we must EXPECT the Lord to do something also.  If our expecter is broken, then we need to forgive God and repent of all doubt and unbelief, and keep on perservering till it comes about.  Ask and you will receive.  If we ask ANYTHING in His name it will be done for us.  Maybe not in OUR timing, and if it is not in our timing, then it is because He is teaching us perserverance and trying to work LOVE into us, and DEATH to SELF, and what self wants.

We don’t maginify the problems, but we MAGNIFY the LORD WHO is MOST HIGH, and greatly to be praised.  We magnify His TRUTH, and it will become TRUTH.  Not a magic pill, but earnestly seeking HIS WILL in all things.  We say will YOU do this, but not as I will , as YOU WILL.  He knows what it takes for each person to change.  And as a woman, I know that I have done this thing of judging others so much and being blind to what is wrong in me, because of the abuse of men in my life.  And if you have never known the love of a father’s arms around you in holy love, and never known the affection of your husband outside the bedroom, then you may have such a deficiency of love in your life, that you have a tendency to see God as you see men, or to see men in a very unfavorable light that is NOT REAL. 

If you have never seen true men of God relating to women in a right way, then your vision becomes skewed.   But the more you are exposed to the truth of what men CAN BE WHO WALK IN HOLINESS and TRUTH, then it is healing to the soul, and the greatest healing of all comes at the feet of JESUS, when we just SOAK in His presence and receive the LOVE HE so DESIRES to pour into us.

Abraham was called by God a great man of FAITH, yet from his life, I can see many things that would cause me to judge him otherwise.  David was called a man after God’s own heart, yet he was a murderer and an adulterer.  Yet GOD saw them as FAITHFUL !  THAT is the grace of God and if we want GRACE women, then we must GIVE IT !

WE must stop making jokes about the inadequacies of men at their expense, and stop emasculating men, stop holding resentment against men, no matter how much any man has ever hurt us.  I KNOW the pain, as I was only a toddler when ritually abused by my stepfather and it took me years of inner healing to forgive the perversion and abuse.  And I see for example in my sis the same jezebel treatment my mother gave men, and it makes me cry to see her abusing her sons in law.  Her husband knows how to deal with her, but his sons in law know better than to say anything.  She is still not saved or healed.  The callousness towards other genders in this age was predicted, and we must be cut from a different cloth than those who give in to the perversion of mockery.

We are ALL DARK but lovely in the eyes of the FATHER because of the death of JESUS, and HIS BLOOD spilt for us.  He loves us more than any other could ever love us, and we must CLING to that truth, to Him Who is TRUTH, and not give up on the men, just because they have been the one God used to break down our pride, or because it was them that was our cross to bear for a time.  FORGIVENESS and HUMILITY are two weapons the enemy can do nothing to oppose !  We must surround them with our love and protection and fight the compulsion to focus on the negative things.  And if he will never change, then GOD will be our DELIVERER.  We have to do what HE tells us, and not rely on the flesh.